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A lighthearted look at the connection between Australian slang and the great scientific concepts. Pat Shiel: I have a thesis. It is, in my view, one that may shake the very foundations of Western Science and it is this. Australians have discovered everything of importance in the physical sciences in the last hundred years but were too stupid to realise it.
I have come to this conclusion, not by investigating scientific journals or ferreting among the dusty basements of our tertiary institutions, but simply by making a careful study of the Australian language. It is in the language that we find traces of the brilliant insights that have become integral to our thinking and our national culture, if only subconsciously.
Not English , mind you - Australian. The Australian language is a very different animal and while many would suggest that this is simply the result of isolation and a weird ethnic mix, I would disagree. I believe that Australian speech reflects a latent national understanding, shared by each and every one of us, of the most abstruse concepts in physics and mathematics.
But this is absurd, you say. That dribbling ruin at the end of the bar doesn't look as if he could tie up his shoelaces much less get a grip on knot theory. The screaming yob at the MCG might be able to appreciate Adam Gilchrist smacking a six but what would he know of celestial mechanics?
Well, they both may know more than you think. They may know more than they think. Let's take the cricket fan. He will scream "Go the tonk" at Gilchrist.